i dislike my mother's way of thinking.

i remember being so frustrated in highschool that my conversations with my mother were so mundane. for the most part, she usually let her emotions decide how she felt about situations and never really had any good reasons for why she would decide her view was the correct view. (i.e. tiger woods having an affair is bad, because that's a bad thing to do, not.. having an affair completely invalidates the purpose of marriage and he screwed up his family-- although this would be a very basic example.)

but it also bothered me that i couldn't have intelligent conversation with her and reason/philosophize on different topics with her simply because she didn't think the same way we did. and another thing, my parents are so single-minded. almost like narrow minded, they only think in one purpose- get all their girls into med school and make them all doctors. so whenever i talked about anything unrelated, they'd pretty much shut me down and tell me not to think about things like that.

seriously? gah. so frustrating. i remember whining to my sister about how i can't have intelligent conversation very much, and she countered that with "well you can't have intelligent conversation ALL THE TIME". but the point was, i wasn't getting much intellectual growth from my parents, and it bored me.

but let's think about it a different way. maybe, my parents just think differently from me. so i should learn the way they think, because knowledge, any knowledge is good for people. so i figured though, i can pretty much go through any conversation and tell you exactly what they would say.

so that makes pretty boring conversation right? unless you have new information, everything is boring? well guess what, that's what my family is made up of now. with the exception of the talks i have with annie, and occasionally conversations i have with my father, in which he simplifies way too much, about architecture, that's all my family thrives on during conversation. NEWS.

so this is another infuriating thing about my other sister. oh man. she loves giving "shock" news. i call it "shock" news, because it isn't really shocking, she's just giving us "shocks" because she wants to illicit a certain emotion in us. (typically pity).

example: one time, we were talking about a topic in which she couldn't exactly jump in on, (which is dumb, she's gone to northwestern, she's pretty much taken all the classes i've taken, so she should have already been pushed to think "outside the box" whatever that means anymore) and so she'll make a new topic and divert the conversation COMPLETELY out of the sphere it used to be in. "martin's patient died."

oh em gee girl. you want me to cry for you now? Okay. so in reality, of course, it is terrible that martin's patient died. but seriously. this girl is just trying to put the spot light on her and illicit some sort of pity for martin, and indirectly then her.

i hate "shock" news conversations. they're so ridiculous. i never respond anymore when michelle tells me ridiculous things like that. it makes me seem harsh and cold, but really, it's not her right to just go around jerking people like that so she can feel "appreciated" for really nothing at all. my mother also did this a lot. but mainly to scare us into not doing anything dumb. she'd love telling us news stories of who got kidnapped, raped and killed. that was seriously her thing. she'd scour the news for any sort of thing like that. killings were good desserts ("oh they were lucky they didn't get raped") but rapes were her main course. (yes this metaphor is indeed because she'd tell us these stories during dinner.)

you can see how angry it makes me. she wanted us to live our lives completely sheltered by her train of thoughts. so it came to the point that i just yelled at her "you think the news is going to tell stories of girls who walk to school/the store/the mall and don't get kidnapped/raped/or killed?"

i dislike my mother's way of thinking.