let go already

I remember having a very hard time telling opinions from facts when I was in grade school. It was so hard for me to figure that out. My mother would get so frustrated with me and demand that Annie teach me, but of course Annie would get frustrated too and would just be saying "FACTS ARE TRUE, WHY DON'T YOU GET THIS. THIS IS JUST HOW IT IS." Well, now, after some retrospective thinking, I've figured out why I grew up that way. Because my mother always stated her opinions as facts. That's how they were, no one could dispute them, everything she said was truth.

Yup, I know I'm really hung up on this "blame my mother for everything." It's not too good for me to focus so much on how she raised me. It's disrespectful. But I suppose that's what bothers me most. When I sit and think about it. I'm 21. This was the age my mother was when she got pregnant with Annie. This is the age that she chose to be a parent. And all I can think is that my mother wasn't mature enough. I'm definitely not mature enough. And from all my thinking back of how she reacted to everything we did, I feel like my mother was probably years less mature than I am now.

I know that's a huge thing to say. But honestly, I think it's true. And I realize that probably makes me immature to not have let go of all of this already.