you know it's bad when i'm getting my daily social interaction when i say hello to my doorman.

facebook actually makes me feel a lot more disconnected.

i've been considering closing my facebook. for like. the last five minutes. haha. well i guess, i don't like how i feel so disconnected. so many people are having intimate conversation with their friends, and although it's a great way to stalk people and "kinda" figure out what's going on in their lives, it makes me sad that i can't talk to them like that. or that i wouldn't have the opportunity.

social development. i built up relationships through highschool that i would say are still okay in strength. i can't reach eric shum anymore. although at least i can say that i tried. i can still talk to some people on and off and still feel like i'm friends with them even though i sometimes go 6 or more months without really talking to them. but then again there are those like eric shum whom i just never really know if they are still around...

on a different note, love songs don't mean anything to me anymore. i mean. sometimes they can be pretty melodic and make me bounce up and down a bit. but i never get that wide-eyed feeling of warm fuzzies imagining what that kind of relationship is about. i suppose i'm pretty settled and happy with my relationships and because i know the "real deal" those images of first sights and crap just sorta make me barf a little. haha. wow. i'm so cynical and it's not like i was dumped or anything. i suppose i'm feeling a bit numb inside. i still have intimate conversations, but it's a bit limited to just one person. i suppose it shouldn't be so bad that i can trust my feelings and dreams to not be ridiculed by *just* one person. at least i have one person. but somehow i feel like i should have more friends than that.

you know it's bad when i'm getting my daily social interaction when i say hello to my doorman.